Let’s talk about identity. It’s something that has been on my mind and heart for some time. Identity of being a person, parent, working professional or student. What we do for a living doesn’t define who we are. I was once told “your situation doesn’t define your identity.” I think about this a lot. I hold a very high standard for myself ever since I could remember. I always wanted to do the best to please others and make others happy or appreciative of my work.
Identity. What does it even mean? According to the Webster dictionary it means “the distinguishing characteristic or personality of an individual.” Let’s think about that. Do you really think a distinguishing characteristic or personality can make up an entire person’s identity? These are some of the lies we begin to tell ourselves. Do you ever think that you aren’t good enough? Failing as a parent? Not smart enough to achieve something you really want? AH, yes. I sure feel like that sometimes. I begin to tell myself lies that I am not good enough to achieve the things I want. The good thing is, they are LIES! I am good enough.
As I serve others, I am so thankful I was given the gift of compassion. I feel for people and their “situations.” These situations don’t define who they are and instead can bring an abundance of amazing qualities to the table. I work with children on the Autism Spectrum and this has been my forever gift. The ability to be compassionate for those who need a little extra help and need someone who truly understands them. When I was in high school, I was given the amazing opportunity to work with a young boy doing ABA therapy. The parents trusted me to provide him with support and teach the programming they had supplied. Also, within the same month I started working with the teens within my high school by volunteering my time two class periods a day. I felt nothing but passion for working with these individuals but it also came with an identity, “the girl who works with the kids with special needs.” I was never teased for doing so, but it also didn’t come with being the cool girl in school. As teachers noticed, I was nominated for best leadership within my high school. Holy cow, that felt incredible and not even like it was me. Why me? We tend to doubt what other people see in us. They saw someone far different than the way I saw myself.
Now, 11 years later, I identify myself as a daughter of God, a wife, a mother, a Behavior Consultant and a Birth Doula. These are all very precious titles that I hold for myself, yet I still don’t feel complete. I want to do more! I want to help more! I want to serve more! There is no greater feeling than serving those around you. I think that is why I became a Birth Doula. In my heart, I was given this great joy to serve a woman in one of the most crucial times of her life. Nothing in the world can even compare to the feeling of love and compassion when someone is fighting through the pain of labor with every ounce of their body. I feel blessed to be the one by their side, comforting them, loving them and guiding them through each of their needs. I love to be able to identify part of who I am as a birth doula. Why you ask? Because I can do just as God had intended for me. He wants me to love others; show compassion. Comfort people in times of need. I love that I am able to do that for so many. The best part, none of it is for me, it is all for the person I am serving.
Through life, we tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough or not doing enough. Taking the time to reflect and truly know who I am and the things I have achieved has built me up. I am good enough!